Author Archives: Samantha Mercanti

I always say that I do not care what people think, but there is one part of my life I feel is judged and scrutinized. I was embarrassed to share this. And I realized I don’t care what people think. So, why was I embarrassed sometimes to share this part of my life.  I haveContinue reading “a companion”

I find some think that because I am open with my illness that I want to be in the spotlight or have the attention.  It’s a bit of a misconception.  If you remember, I am naturally shy.  I prefer to be at home, where I feel comfortable and safe.  I like my introverted qualities toContinue reading “bit more about me”

I always love when people say to me, “Oh my goodness, your food touched meat.”  So yes, it is fine if you are a vegan or vegetarian and do not like when your food touches meat.  I respect that.  It’s a personal choice.  However, I was vegetarian in I think 1998.  I would go toContinue reading “vegetarian”

I have always wondered why we seek happiness.  Why we think that the key to life is finding happiness.  Why we are told that happiness will bring joy and peace.  The first time I smiled after my illness, I mean really smiled and meant it, I realized that maybe we aren’t supposed to be happyContinue reading “happiness”

I have taken medication for as long as I can remember.  I think I started taking medication a couple years after my first episode.  I do not really remember when I started taking meds.   I have struggled with the idea of medication for years.  I think there will always be a little part ofContinue reading “medication”

A little bit more about me… I am naturally very shy. Have been since I was a kid. I love debates.  I debated in university in some courses.  I loved hearing different opinions and looking at situations with a different set of eyes.  Seeing someone else’s point of view. I believe two theories can beContinue reading “a little bit about me. part 2.”

Disordered eating is a difficult subject for me.  It is hard for me to talk about sometimes. Even though almost every day I am triggered, I still love my body at any shape or size now.  And that is big for me. I thought my body looked different than what everyone saw when I wasContinue reading “loving my body”

I think I posted previously on how I was such an honest, sweet and kind kid in my childhood and youth.  I loved that part of me, that part that was so kind and true and caring and gentle.  I am pretty sure I am still that person deep down.  I am still kind, honestContinue reading “i like this me better”

My illness means so much to me.  Schizophrenia means surviving.  It means pain and joy.  It means strength and weakness.  It means struggle and resilience.  It means loneliness and compassion.  It means overcoming and thriving.  My illness means nothing and yet everything.  In some ways, to me, it means to live. We are given lifeContinue reading “what schizophrenia means to me”

Yes, I have an illness, but my illness is not who I am, it is something I have.  However, my illness played, and still plays a big part in shaping who I am and who I want to be. Every day I struggle.  One day might be easy and the next day not.  Yet inContinue reading “who i am”