Author Archives: Samantha Mercanti

I have taken medication for as long as I can remember.  I think I started taking medication a couple years after my first episode.  I do not really remember when I started taking meds.   I have struggled with the idea of medication for years.  I think there will always be a little part ofContinue reading “medication”

A little bit more about me… I am naturally very shy. Have been since I was a kid. I love debates.  I debated in university in some courses.  I loved hearing different opinions and looking at situations with a different set of eyes.  Seeing someone else’s point of view. I believe two theories can beContinue reading “a little bit about me. part 2.”

Disordered eating is a difficult subject for me.  It is hard for me to talk about sometimes. Even though almost every day I am triggered, I still love my body at any shape or size now.  And that is big for me. I thought my body looked different than what everyone saw when I wasContinue reading “loving my body”

I think I posted previously on how I was such an honest, sweet and kind kid in my childhood and youth.  I loved that part of me, that part that was so kind and true and caring and gentle.  I am pretty sure I am still that person deep down.  I am still kind, honestContinue reading “i like this me better”

My illness means so much to me.  Schizophrenia means surviving.  It means pain and joy.  It means strength and weakness.  It means struggle and resilience.  It means loneliness and compassion.  It means overcoming and thriving.  My illness means nothing and yet everything.  In some ways, to me, it means to live. We are given lifeContinue reading “what schizophrenia means to me”

Yes, I have an illness, but my illness is not who I am, it is something I have.  However, my illness played, and still plays a big part in shaping who I am and who I want to be. Every day I struggle.  One day might be easy and the next day not.  Yet inContinue reading “who i am”

Sometimes I feel happy and then a second later I feel sad, and you know what, that is completely okay.  We are not always going to be happy all the time and we may feel happy one minute and then sad the next, and that is okay.  Remember though, if you are deeply sad, thinkingContinue reading “the way i feel”

Being open was not a choice for me.  Some may think or say I made this choice or I had a choice, but I did not.  It was a little bit more like the decision was already made for me, I could not see my life any differently.  I knew deep down that being openContinue reading “being open”

I am not strong all the time and you do not have to be strong all the time.  There are days when I wonder where my strength has gone.  What I know is that I have strength and so do you.  There are times in my life when I have felt weak or may haveContinue reading “stronger”

Sometimes I find in our world, like the invisible expectation of perfection, we think or maybe we subconsciously try to fit in the box.  There is this narrow lane of what we should do in life, and we cannot deviate from that lane.  I have always been very awkward and weird, and I have alwaysContinue reading “i love being awkward”