A life like you

See, I didn’t get to live a life like you.

Some days I wish I did. But most days, I’m glad I didn’t.

I started struggling in my teens, really struggling.

I had so many goals. So many dreams.

But in one day, they were all gone.

One single day, my entire life changed.

You look at me now.

I am happy. Successful. I love my life.

But see, deep within me, is still my illness.

I’ll never be able to explain it to you.

It’s a suffering you can only feel when you experience it, and you never forget that feeling.

My twenties was just me surviving.

There were many times I had to wipe my tears, get right back up, and just keep moving forward.

My life was wake up. Get through the day. Go to sleep. Repeat.

God did not give me what I wanted at 20. God gave me what I needed.

I failed miserably at life. And I wasn’t really sure if I would ever succeed again.  

But, I did.

And failing miserably, was the best thing that ever happened to me.  

No matter how difficult it might be, what I want is for you to keep going.

Sometimes it might not be the greatest life. Sometimes you might be failing miserably at it.

But, that’s all okay.

Because one day or in some moments, it might be a really, really great and beautiful life.

And in those times of difficulty, because there will always be difficulty in life, that eventually with time, you have to remember that it will become easier. And then it might be difficult again.

And that’s okay.

See failing actually gives you quite a bit more than never failing. But most don’t truly understand this, or fear trying because of failure.

The thing is, it’s no fun to fail at life. It’s horrible and difficult and very scary.

But, it does teach you so much more about life and about yourself.

So that girl at 20 who did not live a life like you, is so very, very grateful for the life that God gave her instead.