do i know anything

I have learned in my journey. With all the amazing and all the awful, I do feel I have learned. Yet, I have not learned too. Sometimes I think I have this place figured out. I feel smart, wise and knowledgeable or people tell me I am.

Most days though, I feel like I haven’t got a clue. I am okay with this though. Being smart, wise and knowledgeable is all subjective in my opinion.

I take advice and give advice. Yet I always say, I could be wrong when I give that advice. And sometimes I even prefer people figure it out on their own. I am of the belief that if you do something for someone or try to teach them, they actually will never “get it” until they experience and apply it.

I acknowledge that my advice comes from my perspective, just like the advice I take comes from another perspective. It could be right to the person giving or even taking, but possibly irrelevant to the person taking it or giving it – I know you think that might not make sense, but advice given is sometimes not actually taken by the person giving it.

Many people think I am smart. I do not think I am. I don’t feel very wise or knowledgeable most days. Maybe because I believe in continual learning and growth and that I will never truly be enlightened.

I believe people who think they have figured out this place, haven’t, and are exclaiming a meaning of life with no true meaning. If you experienced the fifteen somewhat good years I experienced in my life, you would probably think this way too – I am a little skeptical but also very hopeful for meaning.

I listen to everything that is given to me and try to apply it, sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t, but I do try and for me, that is what matters. Not the actual doing but the mindset of always trying.

I hope with all this trying that I figure something out someday.