I have taken medication for as long as I can remember. I think I started taking medication a couple years after my first episode. I do not really remember when I started taking meds.
I have struggled with the idea of medication for years. I think there will always be a little part of me that is unsure of medication. However, I have realized, I need medication.
I one hundred percent need medication to manage my illness. In the last few years, the struggle in my mind of taking medication has quieted down. I don’t struggle with the idea as much anymore. Honestly, I barely struggle with the idea because I know I need medication.
Everyone has talked to me about stopping my medication. I have been told many times that medication is not healthy. And yes, medication might not be good for you and your body and maybe medication is unhealthy in some perspectives. But you need to know that until you have gone through what I went through, you may never truly know why I take medication and why I continue to take medication.
I am not going to go into the details of the topic of medication because I discuss this topic in my book. However, I will tell you this, I am very scared – I do not know if scared is the word, the word might be petrified – to relapse.
I cannot and do not want to ever, and I mean ever, go through what I went through in the beginning of my illness. That is why, every night, I take my medication.
I know this is a difficult subject, and it is definitely a personal choice. I choose to continue taking medication because that is what is right for me and what works for my recovery. This is a personal choice and I respect each and every personal decision on medication.
My mind is interesting most days. I don’t think I can explain in words what I go through on a daily basis. But that’s okay. All I need you to know is for my mind and my recovery, I need medication.