I have taken medication for as long as I can remember.  I think I started taking medication a couple years after my first episode.  I do not really remember when I started taking meds.  

I have struggled with the idea of medication for years.  I think there will always be a little part of me that is unsure of medication.  However, I have realized, I need medication. 

I one hundred percent need medication to manage my illness.  In the last few years, the struggle in my mind of taking medication has quieted down.  I don’t struggle with the idea as much anymore.  Honestly, I barely struggle with the idea because I know I need medication.   

Everyone has talked to me about stopping my medication.  I have been told many times that medication is not healthy.  And yes, medication might not be good for you and your body and maybe medication is unhealthy in some perspectives.  But you need to know that until you have gone through what I went through, you may never truly know why I take medication and why I continue to take medication.  

I am not going to go into the details of the topic of medication because I discuss this topic in my book.  However, I will tell you this, I am very scared – I do not know if scared is the word, the word might be petrified – to relapse. 

I cannot and do not want to ever, and I mean ever, go through what I went through in the beginning of my illness.  That is why, every night, I take my medication.

I know this is a difficult subject, and it is definitely a personal choice.  I choose to continue taking medication because that is what is right for me and what works for my recovery.  This is a personal choice and I respect each and every personal decision on medication. 

My mind is interesting most days.  I don’t think I can explain in words what I go through on a daily basis.  But that’s okay.  All I need you to know is for my mind and my recovery, I need medication.  

4 thoughts on “medication

  1. Hi samantha
    Very well written! Your explanation makes perfect sense. I agree with you 100 percent because most people that struggle with your illness suffer greatly because they don’t take meds. As someone who lived with someone who had chronic pain in his body I truly understood that we needed to try all sorts of meds to ease his pain. Unless people have been through these very difficult situations they cannot understand. They should but don’t but that’s fine and at times I chose not to talk about it.
    Take care a d have a great Sunday
    Love Aunt lynn 😘

    Sent from my iPhone

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s funny thing about medication if you had a stroke or heart issues diabetes or rheumatoid arthritis you would be on medication for life and never think anything of it because it helps you deal with the pain or your issues of health. When it comes to mental health for whatever reason we try to think differently and we think about it too much that is a good for us should I get off it how is it going to affect me instead of just saying I’m going to take it and forget about it because it’s the right thing to do it makes me feel normal. I struggled with anxiety and depression over 35 years ago and it was a living hell for two or three years until I finally sought out help and I actually dealt with it. Mine was almost crippling that it really affected my interactions with my family and running a business. Counselling definitely helped but once I went on a medication that worked I’ve been taking it ever cents and I function so well that I don’t think anything of it I just take it once a day and life is going on and I can say I haven’t had a panic attack or an episode of depression in so long I can’t remember what it was like. Awls I can say to you and to others who read this if a doctor prescribe some thing and you trust them take their advice we take the medication for a reason and we do it for ourselves not for others. You are a very strong person as I have told you before to even blog about this but you’re doing it for a reason and hopefully people that read this as well should know don’t not feel any stigma because you’re taking a pill for any form of mental illness. With that said God bless keep blogging and stay healthy Samantha.

    Liked by 1 person

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