being open

Being open was not a choice for me.  Some may think or say I made this choice or I had a choice, but I did not.  It was a little bit more like the decision was already made for me, I could not see my life any differently.  I knew deep down that being open was the only option for me.  I did not want to hide what I went through, I wanted to share it in hopes to help others.

I am open for so many reasons.   And one day I will eventually go into all of those reasons.

I love talking openly about my experience and will continue to share my story probably until I cannot share my story anymore. 

I think the main reason why I am open is because I do not want anyone to experience what I experienced.  I wish my experience with mental illness upon no one.  If I could possibly prevent someone from going through what I went through in the beginning, that is why I do this.  I want people to get help early, to not spiral like I spiralled.  If only someone told me about mental illness and that I might need help early on, maybe things would have been different for me.

There was no discussion if I should be open or not, I just did it.  Not everyone understands my openness, and maybe some judge it, but I know I am doing what is right and what is needed.

Being open may also be one of the reasons why my recovery is so successful.  I am not really sure of this, but I do know that being open has made me understand my illness a lot better and understand that everyone struggles in their lives, not just me, and everyone sometimes needs to hear someone else’s struggles to understand their own.  

Sharing my story opened a whole different world for me, a world that I understand a lot better because of my openness.

You might say I chose this, but I one hundred percent did not.  Sharing my experience openly was determined for me way before I even knew I needed to share my story.  I am a much stronger and better person because of being open and I would not have my life any other way.