Yes, I have an illness, but my illness is not who I am, it is something I have.
However, my illness played, and still plays a big part in shaping who I am and who I want to be.
Every day I struggle. One day might be easy and the next day not. Yet in some ways, I am okay with that. Even with the hard days, I still manage to live my life.
I am very open and honest about my experiences and my illness. I share what I feel you need in this moment and at this time. I might share for one person or for many. And I do not share what I feel you do not need. I share based on what the universe and God guides me to share.
My illness is not who I am, yet it has played and still plays a huge part in who I am and who I want to be. My illness showed me something amazing, even though it was awful and something I never, and I mean never, want to experience again. It showed me, in a way, the type of life I want to live and the type of person I want to be. I have said this before and I will say it again, I do make a lot of mistakes. Maybe even daily. But I do a lot of good too. And hopefully, the good outweighs the mistakes I have made and still make every day.
My illness may have been the reason I made a lot of mistakes in my past and maybe the reason I still make mistakes every day. And yet, even with everything I have been through, my illness showed me something about myself. Something that I cannot perfectly explain to you in words.
Eventually, I was guided back to being me, and at the same time my experience made me want to be better and it made me want to make the world better.
So even though I am not my illness, and my illness is not who I am, I am partly who I am and better because of schizophrenia.
samantha mercanti 