One thing I have learned in my life is that you do have to forgive the people that may have hurt you in your life. Forgiveness is difficult. I believe the most difficult forgiveness is the forgiveness of ourselves for our past mistakes. We do need to forgive others, but we also need to forgive ourselves.
And if you have done something that is unforgiveable, that is for you and the universe to figure out.
Please seek help immediately if you have been through a traumatic experience, tell someone you trust, talk to anyone that you know will help you and seek help from a trusted health professional. And if you do talk to someone about this and they do not believe you or tell you not to worry about it (both happened to me), tell someone else you trust and continue to seek help.
I am still healing from a lot of the traumatic experiences I encountered in my life. A lot of the experiences led up to my mental illness and still hurt me to this day.
When I was ill, I made a lot of mistakes. I still to this day do things and say things that I might not of said or done if I was not anxious or paranoid.
We tend to always think healing comes from forgiving people for the trauma they caused us. And yes, we do need to forgive others to heal. However, healing also comes from forgiving ourselves. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes in life, so we need to try and let go of some of the pain and suffering we may have caused others.
Healing from the past is always a work in progress, it is not just as easy as saying, well I have forgiven this person and myself and I am all better now. Healing comes in many different ways, at many different times, throughout many years and is very unique to everyone.
I plan to further heal this year from my past trauma, by speaking to someone (my mental health counsellor who is amazing), putting in the work (more sessions), truly wanting help (you cannot receive help if you first do not accept you need help) and forgiving others and myself (easier said than done).