Many people I have talked to over the years always say to me well my friends and families lives are perfect, mine is just horrible, they did all the right things in their lives, they have great jobs, got married at the right time, had kids, bought the perfect house. And I always kind of laugh about this a little when people say this to me, because trust me, no one’s life is that perfect. They are not as happy as you think. Everyone has struggles. Everyone has problems.
My parents started telling me the truth about marriage a few years ago. It is not easy. Life is not easy. I knew life wasn’t easy. I was diagnosed in my early twenties and basically was broken for fifteen years. I know life is difficult, but I found the marriage difficulty interesting. Because when you are twenty, everyone is like, get married, have kids, it’s amazing. And I am sure it is, but it’s not as perfect as everyone says it is.
We just see certain parts of everyone’s lives. No one is that happy. And I am not that happy. I have horrible days sometimes. It happens. Life is not easy. All I know is that we, including myself, are all just trying to survive each and every day the best we can.
That is why I always tell people to be kind to everyone. Everyone is struggling, your words can change the course of someone’s life, so choose your words wisely and be kind as much as you can. Be good to people even if they are not good to you. That is what my Nonna always said, do good and forget about it. Don’t expect anything in return. God and the universe will reward you, maybe not in this life but definitely in the next.
Life in general is not easy. It will never be. But if you look closely, there is beauty in this life. In all the brokenness and in all the pain, there is something amazing about this world. And if we are able to survive the worst of life, maybe we will eventually see the best.
2 thoughts on “do good and forget about it.”
For many years Samantha , I thought anybody who was middle class income or higher income, that of course their lives were perfect. Their life must be so easy and they don’t have the same anxieties or problems that I faced …they never argue …they had perfect kids and in essence yes I thought they had perfect lives and I didn’t. I just assumed money and success in business was the perfect panacea for happiness. I was about 40 years old when I discovered how wrong I was. We all need a certain amount of money to get through life to pay for the things we need. Well that being said when I started attaining a certain modicum of success in business because I was working 60 to 70 hours easily every week and I started attaining certain material and things that I always assumed I would never have but once I did… I say without hesitation that these things did not make me happy. The actually started causing severe and crippling anxiety in my life amongst other things. When I started opening up friends of mine who were in similar positions as myself and explained what I was going through and the troubles I was dealing with they started opening about the same struggles in their lives and in marriage that most people never share with their friends. I think we as humans think we are all alone with our thoughts and sometimes are embarrassed to open up to others at least I was. Being honest with friends of mine and going to therapy back when I was 38 years of age helped me tremendously and gave me a different perspective on what happiness was.
I had dinner on Sunday with my family and grandchildren and we all had to stand and say what we were thankful for in life. I started tearing up because my daughters all said that nothing really matters except family ..friendship and peace in life. It’s not that money is not important because we definitely need it to pay our bills to put our children through school put food on our tables and gas in our automobiles. But if you put God and family at the forefront everything else in life seems to fall into place as it did for me..after struggling emotionally for about 10 years. I got over feeling sorry for myself and wishing I had these great lives that all my friends and other people had…I finally realized I have it all and by that I mean I have a great family I’m happy with my business and I’ve always put God at the forefront. We need to live for ourselves not for others. i’ve actually just deleted half of what I was going to talk about it because it was going on too far and definitely too long I didn’t want to put anybody to sleep.. but I realize my greatest accomplishment in life and I’m sure your parents will say the same was not any degree of success I attained in business but rather that all my children are God-fearing..caring and happy individuals and that I was a success at being a father.
With that being said thank you for sharing again Samantha you’re a true hero and warrior and God bless you and your family. I’m sure that other people reading your words will be touched and it makes a difference in their lives. I know it makes a difference in mine 🙏🙏
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Thank you for sharing Jim! I always love your point of view and comments!