changed yet forever unchanged…

My psychiatrist said that I may never be the same person I was before my illness. 

I don’t think in life anyone is the same person they were when they were around ten or fifteen years old.  I really don’t 100 percent know when my illness started, around fifteen I would say, it could have been earlier. 

I may never be the same person I was before my illness.  That was a sad and hard thing for my parents to hear.  But I do believe my psychiatrist was right in saying that to my parents.  I knew from the minute I knew I was ill that I would definitely never be the same after this illness.

No one is really the same after an illness, are they? 

I understood what my psychiatrist meant though.  I might not ever fully recover.

However, by the grace of God and by the grace of the universe, I did.  Was it easy?  Hell no.  My recovery took work, it still takes work every single day.

I am not the same person I was before this illness, who would be, but that is not what my psychiatrist meant.

Through this illness, I did change, I grew a lot more, I understand the world a lot more and I learned a lot more about life.  Everything in life does change us.  But that was not what my psychiatrist meant.

I think what my psychiatrist meant was that this illness would never bring me back a full comprehension and full mind. 

And I am happy to say I proved the system wrong.

I have the mind of the person I was before 10 years old, I am the same person, of course I have been through a lot, I have grown up a lot and I am maybe a little broken, but I get what she was saying, and I am honestly grateful each and every day that I proved this statement wrong.  

I basically proved this world wrong, and I am hoping to show the world that you can be the same person you were before the illness.  I am hoping to show the world that even though you may have a mental illness, you can come back to this world the same person you came into it as.

Do not ever forget that, you will be older, smarter, wiser, and maybe a little broken, but you can be the same person you were before.  

So, for me, I am changed and yet forever unchanged and am grateful and humbled every day for this.

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