A lot of people do not know that I am very spiritual and I have been very spiritual since a young age. I was extremely spiritual before my illness and I have kept that relationship with God as I have grown older. The relationship has grown stronger throughout my life, and just to tell you, I do not believe in one religion, or faith, or path to spirituality. I choose to name my spirituality God however I believe in the universal God. I believe any way you get to God is fine by me and you may call it God, or the universe or spirituality, to me they are all the same and they are all paths to the same ending. And if you never get to God too, that is fine, that is a personal choice and I do not judge any opinions on spirituality.
My relationship with God has not always been perfect, and during my illness I had thought that God was not around me or with me. However, after recovering, I realized that I had felt God the strongest during those times.
Before my illness, I had a strong relationship with God. I talked to God all of the time and during my illness, I did not think God was around me. Maybe I thought God had abandoned me at those times but since my illness was all encompassing I did not really talk to God or think about God, like I did before.
Looking back, I remember seeing God (the medical world called it hallucinations, and it may have been that. I do not really know and may never know). I remember seeing God multiple times and telling my parents that I saw God and I was so scared when I saw God that I just ignored it.
During the worst of my illness, that was when my connection to God was the strongest. I just did not realize it during those times. Once I began to recover, I started to talk to God again. I did not see God like I did during the worst of my illness, but I felt the strength of the relationship. I still feel the connection to this day, it is stronger than it was before my illness.
I am grateful each and every day for this connection to God and the universe and I am grateful for the strength of my spirituality. And if you have ever felt this strength, you will know and understand what I am talking about and I believe everyone is capable of finding this strength and connection to the universe.
Having a spiritual connection, a relationship to God, has been key because spirituality truly helped me in my recovery. I know and believe that God helped me with my recovery and God was there even though I did not realize it and I know God has never left my side. Never forget that during the worst of your times on earth, God will be there, stronger than you will ever know or realize. I wish I would have understood that during my illness, that God is always with you even if you do not think or know that God is there.