eat happy

Just remember before doing anything always discuss with your doctor or health professional.

My weight has been an issue for me because of my medication.  About three years ago, my therapist brought the idea of body positivity to me.  I loved it.  I related to it.  I feel like our whole society is enwrapped in diet culture and when she told me about the movement, I looked at myself and thought, why don’t I just love my body as it is. 

I looked closely at my relationship with food. I am actually vegetarian and I love that lifestyle, I’ve been a vegetarian for over 20 years and I have always eaten pretty healthy but for the past eight years I calorie counted to lose weight at first (because of my medication weight gain), and then it became an obsession because I was so afraid of gaining weight. And to be honest I really don’t know why.  Life is too short to always be dieting, watching every calorie, and worried about eating a piece of pizza or a bowl of pasta.  The thing is I did eat those, but then restricted the next day or the next two days and this turned into a restrict and binge cycle.

One thing that has been hard for me to admit, even to myself, is weighing myself.  I weigh myself every day, and when I told my therapist three years ago, she said to try and weigh myself every other day.  At first, I couldn’t do it, my fear of gaining weight was too strong.  And when I ate a larger meal, the next day I saw the number on the scale, and this just fueled my cycle.    

Why can’t we all just enjoy food, with no judgement, no shame, no weighing, no calorie counting.  This world plasters us with images of what it thinks beauty is.  I’ve taken three years to figure this out and beauty is universal.  Everyone is beautiful in their own wonderful and unique way.   

Through the past three years, I’ve learned so much about body positivity and am developing a better and positive relationship with food.  I am growing and learning each and every day.  And I think my first mental health experience with schizophrenia has made me very in tune and aware of my health, mind and body, and also with this world and the way it works. 

I understand now why I loved the body positivity movement so much three years ago and why I still love it to this day, because it made sense to me, and when I realized that, I felt free and I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders, eat mindfully, intuitively and love yourself and your body no matter what, as long as you are healthy and happy, that is all that matters.  And remember to always stay strong, love yourself and eat happy.