what schizophrenia means to me

My illness means so much to me.  Schizophrenia means surviving.  It means pain and joy.  It means strength and weakness.  It means struggle and resilience.  It means loneliness and compassion.  It means overcoming and thriving.  My illness means nothing and yet everything.  In some ways, to me, it means to live.

We are given life for one reason, and that is to live.  And yet, we get lost along the way somehow or somewhere.  We forget what we are doing here.   We forget why we matter.  We forget our purpose.   

When you lose your health, you realize many things.  Most of all you realize that tomorrow may not come.  Life is not permanent.  In any second it can all be gone.  Yet we forget this in our journey.  We become busy.  We forget that tomorrow is not certain.

Life is to be cherished and loved.  Life is precious.  And even though sometimes difficult, our life is truly special.  We need to value what we have been given because we have been given something meaningful.

I always take care of myself.  No matter what I do in my life my mental health and self care come first.  That could be why I am able to manage my illness so well.  Because even though I work a full-time job, I blog, post and write on my spare time, I always take the time to focus on my health, both physical and mental.  I take care of myself first because I know that to help others, we need to care for ourselves first.  

And yes, our lives are about us, but our lives are about others too.  Life is about the people we know and do not know.  What we choose to do every day for others means something.  We need to make sure that everyone can survive, thrive and live. Everyone’s life has meaning, sometimes this is forgotten.  I believe though, that we need to show others that their life is meaningful too.

My illness showed me that everyone’s life has meaning.  I have learned so many things from my illness.  Schizophrenia, to me, will always be meaningful.  And I may never be able to truly express in words the entire meaning of schizophrenia to me.  

Because of this meaning, every day, I thank God and the universe for this day.  My illness reminds me that tomorrow my health may be gone.  So, I understand that life is meant to be loved, cherished, and held very close to us.   

And no matter what happens in my life, no matter what I go through, I know and
understand that what I went through means something more. Maybe more than I
will ever truly know.